Importance of Couples Therapy Before Things Get Rough

Relationship counseling is generally seen as an effective tool for couples experiencing difficulties. Many people have the misconception that you and your partner need to be on the brink of separation before seeking couples therapy. While many couples wait for a breaking point to reach out for help, it’s not necessary. 

In fact, starting counseling before things get too intense can be extremely helpful. Each person’s–and each couple’s–experience is different, but there are several valid reasons to consider starting therapy sooner rather than later. Here are just a few.

1. You’ll have more mental and emotional space for learning.

Couples therapy is a space to reflect on the relationship patterns that keep you stuck in unhelpful ways of interacting. However, it can be difficult to learn if you and your partner(s) feel constantly triggered by each other, which can happen when you’ve been gritting your teeth through issues and putting off getting help.

When feeling triggered, your autonomic nervous system kicks in. Your body goes into a state of fight or flight, which isn’t conducive to learning new ways of relating to each other. If you start therapy when things feel less intense, you may have more capacity to reflect on your dynamic and learn new ways of interacting.

2. You may be able to have more compassion for each other.

A common goal of couple’s therapy is to better understand your partner(s). By learning more about your partner’s needs, desires, boundaries, and attachment style (as well as your own), you can find more compassion for them in difficult moments.

While this is never an easy process, it can be even more challenging if your dynamic is contentious. It’s certainly possible, but if you start counseling before things get too intense, it may be easier to find ways to work with each other instead of against each other.

3. You can build a strong foundation to weather future issues.

All relationships have challenges–it’s inevitable. However, growing your understanding of yourselves and each other can help you navigate difficulties with more grace, ease, and intention.

Couples counseling can work as a preventative measure to prepare you and your partner(s) for the future issues that are bound to arise as part of being in a relationship. Even if things don’t feel particularly difficult at the moment, therapy can give you and your partner(s) helpful tools to mitigate current and future challenges.

Learn more about your relationship patterns with my couples therapy intensives

As a holistic therapist and relationship coach, I’m a firm believer that nearly everyone can benefit from counseling. It’s never a bad time to gain more awareness of the patterns that may contribute to past, current, and future difficulties.

My intensives help couples and individuals better understand how their early relationships shape their current connections. Armed with this insight, folks leave feeling empowered to build the types of relationships they want. 

Interested in learning more? I encourage you to reach out. I look forward to connecting with you!